Trick To Approaching Women
Date: Sat, 17 Dec 2005 07:27:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "E" <*****@yahoo.com>
Subject: Another question for you ( I feel confused)
CR, I feel confused. I've gotten these wonderful ebooks from you and finally am learning to Slowly let go of my guilt which had held strong to me for too long now. AS a result of reading the hate/love swing ebook, I realized that I've been projecting guilt and innocence on many girls as well as project "sluttines" on other girls and that had kept me back.
When I read the book the second time around, it finally hit me, so I'm recovering. But I'm confused about another thing. I read the Lust Signals reports, and was interested in the story of how Your buddy and you were shopping and he hit on the clerk by asking for her Number while she smilingly declined and gave you her number. I'm confused in terms of what I need to focus on when I see a girl that I like. I guess studying seduction for too long has taken its toll on me and given me confused theories in terms of approaching women.
I'm not currently in any relationship, but the ones I've been in a long time ago (before I caught the guilty guy virus and had a drought) I remember the girls being the "aggressor" They were the ones initiating the encounter whether it was fooling around, playing "doctor" or what have you :)
Now, later on I have also encountered situations where the girl was interested and had her friend tell me that she was interested, (I hadn't even seen the girl yet, but we worked together in this large store, never mind that I blew it during the date), it was the girl again being interested and taking some action though indirectly.
Here's a scenario. I see a girl I like but do not know. Let's say that I have the chance to talk to her because we're in the same environment a lot (school, class, etc) So I have the opportunity to talk to the girl, and let's even go as far as to say that I find out she is single.
My confusion stems from not knowing how to strategically approach the situation to get her interested in me. One approach says, go in ask her out soon, the other says, take it slow, build some interest, some value and leave her wondering, but let her take the action. And here's my dilemma. Women never take action!! So how do I approach this type of situation strategically?
I feel confused about what my approach to this should be, because with Some girls I even feel like I'm missing my chance of asking them out when other guys jump in, ask her out and she says okay and then her becomes her boyfriend, and I get pissed because that guy could have been me.
So I feel like I should take action ASAP, but then I know the rejection risk is higher even if she was a wee bit interested, or is it? Doesn't it happen that when asked out a girl could say yes even if she isn't interested right away but become interested later on? Is this maybe the wrong thing to focus on because of the high risk of rejection?
I don't know :( Thanks for your time. [E] Hey E. To me, the best approach is looking at it in terms of signals. And being a former signal processing engineer, I learned that you can always: Reduce the static of a signal Increase the amplitude Add a set of signals together for a given range of time So with that said,
Step 1. The first step is MASTERING the "signal that you are comfortable" with just going up to the girl and engaging in a conversation. The only way to do this is to just approach the girl and initiate a conversation. That’s the only goal.
If you do this enough times (while realizing that it's not that hard), you will have no choice but to get comfortable with the process - because that's how our minds are designed. And if you strip it down into a raw primary signal, it's impossible to fail. Because you are only trying to get comfortable with walking up to the girl and having a few words come out your mouth.
The cool thing about this signal is the SUCCESS of it is based purely on just walking up the female. You don't even have to ask her for her number. It doesn't even have to be a girl you are attracted to. The goal is to send the signal that you are comfortable with talking to girls. But that doesn't mean that you won't be a little nervous from time to time.
Let’s say there are 2 guys. One guy gets about 3 phone numbers per week, and the other guy gets 3 numbers per year. 99.9% of the time, the 3perweek-Guy is approaching more girls. The secret is it doesn't mean that he isn't a little nervous (from time to time) when he walking up to these girls. The only difference is that he TAKES ACTION even though he's nervous. "Take Action Even If You Are Nervous" It’s all about walking up to her and engaging in a conversation.
Step 2. Mastering the signal of self-value - after you are comfortable with just going up and talking to her, you'll want to do something else. You’ll want to now master walking up to a girl while having a certain mindset – focusing on the things about you that are special and unique. Focus on your successes (don't matter how small they are)...
The reality is a woman can (just from talking) tell whether the guy values himself. A lot of guys attempt to increase their sexual value in the eyes of the female, but they haven't increased the sexual value (or base value) in the eyes of themselves...
So say things to yourself: "I’m the man." "I remember the time when I met Lisa, and at first she was playing hard to get, but two weeks later..." "I’m a funny likable guy and women love that quality more than anything" Once you master the first signal you can easily master the second signal. And you'll realize that there really isn't hard work involved like some guys make it out to be.
Because all you are doing is tweaking your Mental Motor which means you are operating with a better philosophy. And if you say these things about yourself, you'll send the signals. And any time you project a confident attitude you will always offend people who are not confident (people with bad mental motors - people who don't have the mental strength to see the good in themselves, others and the world)...
So do not pacify these people by toning down your "I am the man" signals. If a person really analyzed himself he would have no choice but to find a few things that are amazing.
It’s impossible not to. So you MASTER sending the "I can walk up and just say a few words to a female" signal. (Without the fear that she'll change into a 9ft beast that preys on human souls) You’ll discover that it's easy. And there really isn't a worse case scenario.
Because if you say "hello" and just start talking, 95% of the time she'll listen, because women are curious... If you start talking to a female and she just rolls her eyes and ignores you, then consider yourself lucky, because that's NOT the kind of female you want to deal with. LOL...
Most girls are actually good-natured and they just enjoy talking to guys who are down to earth. People enjoy talking to other down-to-earth people. My belief is that 85-95% of women are good natured. They don't have evil plans to rule the world... they are not trying to figure out ways to murder animals and children.
They are not running the streets like a pack of wild wolves knocking down old ladies. You’ll find that most women are actually tender and good-natured people. (even the hot ones!) So if she is good natured, it feels amazing to her just to have a respectful guy holding a fun conversation. And then from there you can do the techniques (for example, the one in Super Lust Buttons and the ONLY REASON why that creates a powerful affect on women is because they typically don’t experience a guy that comes up to her with that approach...
The exhausting nice guys vs. jerks articles and discussions, have actually turned down-to-earth guys into idiots that women laugh out. So let that work in your favor because the mass majority of guys are either: Overly nice and afraid of women Guys that try too hard (the sad-to-watch nice guy who puts on the jerk act) Natural jerks/idiots/clowns (that only impress low self-esteem women with issues)
**Note: For some reason many guys believe that ALL women go crazy of jerks. I can think of 20 women that I personally that would laugh at those clowns so hard, they would run home to their mommies – and I don’t how many low quality women they have slept with. I personally do not believe in waiting for a girl to approach.
The point I was making in Lust Signals is after you consistently start sending the right signals, women will be able to "tell" something is amazing about you... (Some people refer to it as sexual aura. so I made the point that any man can achieve this.)
And if she is really responding to the signals she'll become MORE responsive. It’s really about human nature. The more you really want something, the more you'll go after it. In other words, if you master sending a bunch of powerful signals the right way and it just blows her away (and this isn't a fictional process - it happens are the time - there are reasons why she is blown away), then the thought will enter her mind: What if I never see this amazing guy again?
I really had fun talking to him. There are not a lot of guys like him! Then she will predictably say something like 'You know what how about you take my number' No one likes to miss out on something great. The good news is that you don't need to have that kind of affect on her. So I don't think that needs to be a goal...
Women don't exclusively give their phone numbers to guys they consider the greatest and sexiest guy that ever met... Women don't exclusively have sex with guys they consider the greatest and sexiest guy that ever met... Plus I believe that you can achieve great success by seeing the value in the woman - even though there is some psychological buttons you can press along, you can still respect her.
The crazy thing about doing that is it automatically shows that you have respect for yourself. There are tons of myths out there. The reality is people who really respect themselves and have true confidence will naturally have respect for others. I personally think it’s smart to focus on women with confidence and self-respect. (even though most guys are scared of them) And btw, these women enjoy sex - just like any other woman...
So the whole process is like riding a bike. The more you do it, the better you naturally get at it. It doesn't matter how great at math you are, or how artistic you, or how smart you... You still have to practice (or get comfortable), because everyone has an "inner genius" that provides us with being comfortable the more you do something - and the better you approach it. If a rocket scientist can't ride a bike, it's not like he can just hop on for the first time and then seconds later he is gliding down the street.
And then 4 seconds later he is doing free style tricks and back flips on the bike... The good thing about meeting women and getting her number is you don't have to create an amazing affect on her when you meet her. You don't have to get her to a point where she says "Oh no!!!! My life will be hell if I don't see this man ever again"...
So that means you don't have to be the free-style biker who does tricks and back flips... You just need to be comfortable. (as a starting point - and if necessary, you can glide in some subtle psychologically-based techniques in there.)
If you got on a bike and rode down the street, chances are people can tell that you are comfortable with riding a bike. But if you got on the bike and wobbled around and crashed into a parked car, then chances are people might wonder if you have ever rode a bike before. Some guys talk to women as if they haven’t ever talked to a woman before.
The truth is they have already figured out and learned how to talk to a woman at a very early age.
They don’t realize they already have the skill inside of their brains. That’s what will give you the amazing advantage – because most guys don’t realize this. Once you see the crystal clear picture, it's actually easy to get comfortable. Because the only thing you need to get comfortable with is (in this order):
LEVEL 1 - Acknowledging the human existence of women (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
LEVEL 2 - Looking at the female human from a far away distance (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
LEVEL 3 - Being in the same building as a female human [grocery store, class room, gym, club, mall, book store, work] (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
LEVEL 4 - Establishing calm eye contact and saying hi to a female [without the fear of her clawing your eyes out] (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
LEVEL 5 - Establishing a friendly conversation with the tender good-natured woman [without the fear of her burning you up with her deadly dragon-breath] (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
LEVEL 6 - Calmly asking for her number (without the burning fear that she will stab you in the stomach with her pencil) ====== From there...
LEVEL 7 - Getting comfortable with easing in signals (either while talking to her in person or on the phone) (if you are comfortable with doing this, then move to the next level)
THE NEXT LEVEL 8 – Allowing a natural process to happen naturally. (you can use the initiation process in Lust Signals (or any approach or philosophy that works - or you can also using the Sexual Tension Report as an initiation strategy – but in general it’s a natural process. And it’s the easiest part [believe it or not] because it is so obvious when she is ready. When you really look at these Levels, you’ll see they are super easy. In many ways, it’s impossible to see it as hard…
So to sum everything up, the best strategy will ALWAYS be your philosophy (having the right Mental Motor) - not what you actually say. Then once you are able to calmly send a set of comforting signals (that you are comfortable at each LEVEL), then you can review Lust Signals, Super Sex Power, any other system that makes sense, or anything you personally have done successfully in the past to glide through the fun process... Let me know if that makes sense or if you need me to clear things up...
Take care Instructor CR James
Creator of www.SuperLustButtons.com (The SLB System)
Step 1. You walk up to a female that you are interested in
Step 2. You use the S.L.B System
Step 3. They become "noticeably and powerfully" attracted to you
Date: 1/3/2005 18:47:01 -0600 From: "JS"
Hey CR, good job on SuLuBO.pdf!!!! [The "Super Lust Buttons" eBook] Shit... I mean GREAT JOB!!!! You are one very enlightening person. I have been in a 5 year relationship that has had its ups and downs and breakups. I am currently in the rehab phase now. Your latest book has helped raise my spirits and my perceived outlook on my relationship is geared toward success. Thanks for your efforts in making a woman's complex jigsaw puzzle mind seem more like Tic-Tac-Toe. Keep up the great work, man!
[JS] - Indiana, USA
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Peace Love & Happiness
Author of Super Sex Power
Specializing in advanced undetectable seduction techniques