Thursday, March 29, 2007

Levels of Communication

Levels of Communication
The Never-Talked-About Skill that is 100 times More Effective than Reading Body Language

It is amazing when you think about how differently men and women communicate.
What’s even more amazing is the number of men and women that still are unaware of
these differences.

While communicating with women can be like learning a second language, it does
happen to have a few advantages. And I’m not talking about learning how to decipher
their yapping and gossiping. I’m talking about using this tool to become a more seductive

And it doesn’t stop there! A whole new world opens up.

You can effectively charm the headphones of the McDonald’s drive-thru girl and get a
free burger!

Let’s zoom in on the aspects that are important to you at this time - the sexual part of
your relationship and how Levels of Communication will help you.

A guy that is in tune with how a woman thinks will have indescribable advantages.
Please, do yourself a favor and read that statement one more time.

My goal is to provide you with enough information within this micro report that will
make you an instant master at developing your Levels of Communication.

Now, I must mention that it is not my intention to write about dating and how to pick up
women, however, much of the solutions intended to correct the mistakes in one’s sexual
relationship can be solved by analyzing aspects of the dating process.

In many dating books you will often find some sort of body language section. This is the
cool stuff right?

All you have to do is interact with the target-female, carefully watch her body
movements and you can instantly tell if she is into you. It’s like being a mind reader!
It’s great, right?

Here’s the problem…

The body language that reveals the emotion or basic thought process fails to reveal the
more important pre-emotion that initiated that body signal.

Here’s what I mean...

If a woman is nervous around you, you don’t need to be told this, right?
Most (not all) body language books aren’t going to reveal anything outside of your
natural human observations.

You need to know what that nervousness means. She could have had a tremendous crush on you where she is pleasuring herself to you every night. And the idea of being face-to-face with you sends a surge through every nerve in her body!

On the other hand, her nervousness could mean she finds you creepier than tabloid celebrity

Bat Boy passing out lollipops at the local playground.

How the hell would you know?

As far as I’m concerned, body language is very contingent on the individual - her
experiences in combination with her personality, current mood and so on.

Most of the effectiveness of using body language is actually having it on your mind that
you will observe body movements as you communicate with the person anyway.
Meaning, just being aware that you will pay attention to physical signals.

Recognizing the level in which a person is communicating allows you to instantly
determine what they are trying to say – after practice and mastering of course.

You will see results (in the form of sexual receptiveness via communicational bonding)
once you…

1. understand the various levels of communications
2. see the importance of choosing to speak on a desired level
3. realize that men and women communicate on different levels
4. actively practice recognizing the different levels (by mimicking the female’s
communication structure – we’ll get to that in a second)

Remember, communication is two-sided. Therefore, enhancing it means you must
strengthen both sides. It’s kind of like what you would do if you wanted to strengthen
your arms. You would work your biceps (pull movements) and your triceps (push

With communication you want to develop the strength in which you receive (pull in)
information, as well as the strength in which you deliver (push out) information.
Understanding the levels in which a woman is communicating is paramount.

In some cases your woman may not even be aware that she is sending a deeper more
accurate meaning within her statements.

In other cases she’ll intentionally speak in a way where her words will actually insinuate
what she is actually trying to communicate.

Either way, if you are not picking up on what’s really being said, then you are going to be
missing out.

In the dating environment, the guy that scores with the most babes is the one who
understands and reads all of her little messages. When a woman runs into a guy that is in
tune with her, she has no choice but to be magnetized and drawn towards him.
Think about that for a second.

Think about the concept of sex on a very basic level, which is an act that encompasses
the joining or pairing of like bodies/souls.

When females are in the presence of a guy who is “in tuned” with them, they melt and
lose control. This within itself is seductive. And this (channeling onto her wavelength)
takes place before you even perform any active seduction strategy.

If you ever hear a women tell a man that it feels like she has known him all of her life or
anything similar, then understand that this woman is under his spell.
He was more power than he can ever imagine.

Unfortunately, women, including the one you are involved with, hardly ever experience
connections like this.

These are rare moments.

Some women have to force themselves into lesbianism to get this kind of understanding
out of a person. These type of lesbians (or misunderstood & confused straight woman)
will often jump back and forth between male and female partnerships.

The bottom line is women beg and crave for us to communicate with them on their

The three reasons why being in-tuned to her is magically effective:
1. People tend to trust those that are similar to them more.
2. People are magnetized to those that are similar.
3. Women (in particular) rarely experience guys like this. Therefore, you
conveniently stand out.

You ever hear a guy that hasn't figured women out complain about how women are so
difficult and complicated, meanwhile the writing has been on the wall the whole time.
What’s even worse is when guys get together and talk about how their wives all do the
same exact crazy things that they all can’t seem to figure out.

Well if these women are all behaving in a similar fashion, shouldn’t that tell you

“Women love to shop.”
“Women love to gossip and yap.”
“Women always nag about the sports on TV.”
“Women don’t try to solve relationship problems, they just talk about their feelings.”
“Women don’t like surprises during oral.”
“Women this.”
“Women that.”
“Women always read too far into my comments.”


Let’s freeze right here for a second. Let’s analyze that last statement.
I remember one day telling the lovely lady in my life that she looked nice one particular
day. Instead of thanking me for the compliment she says: “so I normally don’t look

Do you see what’s happening?

This is the beauty of the whole thing. Most (and I really mean “all”) women attach a
“what did he mean by that” or a “what’s he trying to say” statement in their heads to
everything a man says.

Let’s talk a look at some examples.

You: I’ve never seen that dress before. (with her wearing it)
Her: Do you think it makes me look fat?

All you were doing was commenting on the dress. Sometimes it’s even worse.

You: I’ve never seen that dress before.
Her: So have you always thought I was fat!

It doesn’t stop there. That’s not the extreme by any stretch...

You: I never seen that dress before.
Her: I’m taking the kids and moving back in with my mother!!!


Has your girlfriend or wife ever responded to something you’ve said that was so off the
mark, that it just left you shaking your head?

Mine has!

In fact, I often mumble “where the hell did that come from?” in my sleep!
Basically, it is in their nature to communicate how they do.

All I’m saying is that instead of complaining about how they communicate, let’s take a
step back for a minute and relax. Let’s think about how we can use that to our advantage.

Once you discover how to communicate better with her, you will automatically increase
the passion and union between the two of you.

Throughout this report, we will refer to her communications as on the secondary level
and our communications as on the first level.

(Refer to the Levels of Communication Chart - FIGURE 1)

Guys tend to say exactly what they mean.

Women are more passive and will often insinuate their real message (and sometimes
without being aware of it).

There is no right or wrong way.

When I say you can benefit from this, you have to understand that proper functional
communication works in two directions.

Here is the logic: If you know that she is attempting to communicate with you on this
secondary level, then you must know that she expects (by default – irrationally or
otherwise) for you to understand her as she speaks on this level.

Basically, if she attaches a “what does he mean by that” to everything you say, then by
doing the same thing you would be able to decode valuable information within her

Let’s remember that they always want to know:
“Why is he saying that?”
“Why is he asking me that?”
“Why this?”
“Why that?”

In most cases they will answer the question themselves (either being right or wrong)
and then respond to the answer of the question they created as if it was your original

Let’s look at the example I used earlier:
You: I’ve never seen that dress before. (with her wearing it)
Your true meaning: You never seen that dress before. You were just making an

In her head: “What did he mean by that? Is he trying to tell me something? He is trying to
tell me something. What is he trying to tell me? Is he trying to bring attention to my
body? He is trying to bring attention to my body. Does that mean I need to lose weight?”
[in nanoseconds]

Her: Do you think it (the dress) makes me look fat?

This is a classic question that women ask. I always liked Al Bundy’s answer to this
question: “It’s not the dress that makes you look fat, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.
Obviously, you can’t say this to her nor would you want to, but the bottom line is that the
question or statement (based on her assumption) that she says to you, especially if it
appears to come out of nowhere, is based on a series of questions and answers that took
place in her head.

So when a woman says to you out loud “what do you mean by that” or any question that
appeared to come from nowhere, it means she couldn’t answer that particular question
she created in her mind.

If she would have answered the question (“Do you think it (the dress) makes me look
fat?) in her head, then her comment to you would be based on this answer.
It would be something like: So have you always thought I was fat!

These are the differences in how men and women communicate - nothing more, nothing
less. This has nothing to do with how intelligent they are.

TRUE STORY: I sat down with my lovely girlfriend one day and I wanted her opinion
(because she is intelligent) about these differences. I was sure she would agree. She was
so eager to listen as I explained the different levels in which we communicate and how
women somehow attach a “why this” and “why that” to what a guy says...

Her: Are you trying to say that women are stupid?
Let’s move on.
But wait there’s more…
HERE’S ANOTHER STORY: It was a Sunday afternoon and I was stretched out on the
sofa watching TV. She briefly walks by and asks if I was enjoying the game.
Me: Hell yeah, the Ravens are up 17 in the fourth quarter.
Her: Oh
Later on that day, I start kissing on her trying to make things happen.
Her: Earlier, you didn’t want to do anything.
Me: Huh?

As the conversation went on, it was brought to my attention that her asking me how the
game was going was an attempt to initiate sex!

What the $%@# !!

Note: She wasn’t wearing anything seductive and she wasn’t looking or talking sexy.
By understanding her nature, I could have played her game and said well what does she
mean by that when she asked about the game…

And depending on the excitement level, and playoff implications, I could have made an
informed decision!

This is one of many examples that illustrate how your lack of being in tune with her will
result in missed sexual opportunities.

To demonstrate this in real-time (as I write this), I will hop online and chat with one of
my intelligent female friends about this issue. (assuming that someone is on)

I’m logging on now.


Looking around.

There is one.


cr: How are you?
[a random online female friend]: i'm good
[a random online female friend]: how about you
cr: Incredible!!!!
[a random online female friend]: lol
[a random online female friend]: oh reallyl
cr: lol
[a random online female friend]: how is that
cr: without a doubt
cr: i just love life...
[a random online female friend]: rrrigght
[a random online female friend]: on those drugs again are
[a random online female friend]: :)
cr: yes miss yoda
[a random online female friend]: :(
cr: no drugs here..
cr: why do females...

phrases are>

cr: communicate on a different level than guys...
[a random online female friend]: you mean...guys nod and
cr: LOL
[a random online female friend]: girls use nouns, pronouns
and adjectives
cr: grumble grumble ...
[a random online female friend]: LOL
cr: actually it appears (based on my super human perception)
that women ask and answer ...
[a random online female friend]: <---superhuman
cr: (regardless of if they're right) questions in their
cr: you just want to be like me
cr: basically - guys are more direct
[a random online female friend]: lol...'tis the truth
cr: but why?

[a random online female friend]: because girls need details

[a random online female friend]: it makes things more
cr: you are part of my experiment..LOL
cr: aren't you majoring in psychology?
[a random online female friend]: no...but i know too too
much about it
cr: or marketing?
[a random online female friend]: advertising
[a random online female friend]: may be changing to english
cr: but you read alot of psychology books, right?
cr: how ironic !
[a random online female friend]: why ironic?
cr: because often times guys speak...
cr: DIRECTLY or communicate directly an idea ...
cr: to a female..and she misses the message ..
[a random online female friend]: yeah...
cr: lol
cr: forget it
cr: too early in the morning for you
[a random online female friend]: i assume your trying to
tell me something
[a random online female friend]: im just not getting it
[a random online female friend]: sorry
cr: how ironic?
[a random online female friend]:
cr: ok i'll try again
cr: keep in mind are only being asked this becuase i
think (regardless of how misinformed i am) you are
intelligent a degree
cr: ok
cr: for example...
[a random online female friend]: ok
cr: are you with me so far?
[a random online female friend]: yup
cr: cool
cr: say we were married...
cr: and you put on a dress
cr: and i made an observation: "i never seen that dress
cr: what would you think?
[a random online female friend]: if i had worn it a lot
before...i would think your an ass...
cr: why would i be an ass?
[a random online female friend]: if it was the first time i
had worn it...i would say its new
[a random online female friend]: do you like it?
cr: in this situation
[a random online female friend]: because, your not very
cr: i see
cr: so if a person fails to observe, then he is an ass
[a random online female friend]: lol
[a random online female friend]: yes...
cr: LOL
[a random online female friend]: i mean...thats part of
life...just observing whats going on around you
[a random online female friend]: makes a girl feel
shitty if it seems like you are not willing to observe her

cr: but don't women (at least the smart ones) know that guys
don't care about that crap
cr: speaking of shitty
[a random online female friend]: yes...we know...
[a random online female friend]: we just feel like you care
and appreciate us more...if you make an extra effort to do so
[a random online female friend]: are you writing this in
your book?
cr: do you think i should?
[a random online female friend]: no...
cr: are you trying to call me fat
[a random online female friend]: i'll sue you
[a random online female friend]: LOL
cr: LOL!
cr: actually i might include it and take my chances with the
[a random online female friend]: god damn people and their
taking stuff from me
[a random online female friend]: :)
cr: are you flirting with me?
[a random online female friend]: mmm...

I’m back. If you noticed I placed in red the moment of “HUH?”
When I asked her why are guys more direct (than females), you’ll notice that she was
momentarily possessed by the demon of irony.

Her response: “because girls need details…”
Oh yeah, if I get sued, I’ll let you know.
But for now, I want to try to analyze what went on in her head. Let’s back up one more

ME: but why? (…are guys more direct in their communication than women?)
IN HER HEAD: Why is he asking me this? He must care about what I think. Does he
want to know what I think about what women want? I think he does. I’ll tell him.
HER (out loud): because girls need details…
In reality, I’m not sure what went on in her head.
I also have another theory, it goes like this:
ME: but why? (…are guys more direct in their communication than women?)
IN HER HEAD: Why is he asking me this? He must care about what I think. I want to
carry his child. He is so in tuned with me. Just talking to him makes me partially
orgasmic. A girl like me needs to know more about this amazing guy.
HER (out loud): because girls need details…
Ok let’s get serious for a minute.

I think the more complicated and intelligent the female is, the more complicated it is to
predict/decipher the “in her head” sequence. If you can’t figure it out exactly, don’t panic
- just try to think about why she would make the “from left field” statement. That’s
normally very easy to pick up on and it will provide you with a wealth of information.

In other words, much like her thinking, you would say to yourself: “What does she mean
by that?”

That should be enough.

Also, as the conversation went on (the uncut portion) with my online female friend, I
discovered something magical that should lead into a technique that some guys may find
very useful. And it happened by accident.

I already got the name for it and everything, but since it really doesn’t have anything to
do with levels of communication, it would be inappropriate to mention it here.
Let’s move on.


AN EFFECTIVE SEDUCTION ELEMENT: If you convince a woman that you know her
better than she knows herself, you will have a great starting point in creating sexual
desire in her.
Becoming a master at deciphering her messages and sending powerful & indirect sexual
tension building messages works toward the ideal case of you knowing her more than she
knows herself.
Think about the trust you would have in the guidance of someone that you felt knew you
better than you knew yourself.

Communicating on her level sends the message that you really know her.
On the flip side (and quite naturally), women in general do not respond sexually or feel
chemistry for a guy that doesn't get it.

In other words, a guy that is not in tuned with her.
Imagine asking (by words or actions) your willing & horny girlfriend if she wouldn’t
mind having fun in the sack and she kept saying “huh?” as if she didn’t know what you
were talking about.

Every time you ask, she says “huh?”

Wouldn’t that be frustrating?

Well, that’s what women go through all the time.

In my football example, I could have acknowledged her desires.
Me: I see my little sweetie pie wants some action; I’ll have to get back to you later.
(Independent results may vary)

Remember in the very beginning of this report I highlighted that my goal was to make
you an instant master at developing your levels of communication.

This is an ongoing exercise. You want to study and analyze her statements. In your head
you want to always ask “what does she mean by that?”

Anytime you ask yourself a question, you give permission to your higher mind to seek
out the answer.

Review the chart (FIGURE 1) to see how deep these levels can be. It is important to know that women will often communicate on the first level just as guys.

The important thing to know is when they are communicating on the secondary level. All women are different, but once you get a full grasp of these levels you will observe when she is likely to speak on various levels.

In most cases, I find that as the potential for passiveness increases the depth of the level
in which she will communicate increases (meaning she will become more vague and
more difficult to decipher).

Seductive Communication

The objective is to send your real message on the secondary level.
Try to determine when she is likely to communicate on a certain level and then match it
at those times.

Remember, they communicate on this secondary level most of the time, so logically they
will receive messages better this way. Also, they irrationally expect for guys to
communicate like this.

For example, if your goal is to generate sexual desire in her, then the right messages that
you want to send are those that make you appear more sexually appealing.
Basically, you are trying to communicate the right messages to her. And what you
actually say to her will be the vehicle that sends the right messages.

On a daily basis, what you actually say to her is the vehicle that sends a combination of
seductive and anti-seductive messages.

Most guys are not aware of the anti-seductive signals that they send during their
communication with women.

Here is what I’m talking about. I’ll describe the very basic boy meets girl scenario that
illustrates what guys often do wrong.
Boy sees girl.
Boy wants girl because girl is pretty.
Boy talks to girl and constantly tells her how pretty she is.
Girl is flattered.
Boy lets girl know he wants her.
Boy doesn’t get girl.
What happened! The boy told her she was pretty and she enjoyed it, but he didn’t win her over.

Meeting a woman and getting her approval upon meeting often parallels the structure of
what you would do when you are attempting to cultivate lust in your wife.
Let’s take a brief look at what the boy did wrong. First of all, boy got caught up in his
emotions and he didn’t understand the real process - much like most guys.

When the boy saw the girl and decided that he wanted the girl, he should have found out
(since he didn’t) the things that a woman look for in a man, the things that make women
drawn to men. Then work on sending those messages - not directly communicating them
to her. There’s a huge difference.

Let’s review the process again with a little commentary.

Boy sees girl. (Ok, not bad so far.)
Boy wants girl because girl is pretty. (Don’t we all want pretty girls?)
Boy talks to girl and constantly tells her how pretty she is. (WRONG RESPONSE - by
directly communicating that she is pretty over and over like guys typically do, Boy
successfully communicates that he thinks she is pretty, but this does absolutely nothing
for him. In fact he ends up indirectly sending the message that he is desperate.)

Girl is flattered. (Of course she is, but this generates zero sexual attraction to him)

Boy lets girl know he wants her. (Like she is going to want him, just because he
expressed how deeply his desires are. It is actually a selfish and childish way of thinking.
The majority of guys take this approach. It is supremely underdeveloped. When my 3 year old son is begging for candy, I tell him no. He will then tell me “but I want the candy, it’s yummy”.

When you express to a female that you really want her without taking any effort
to make sure you are sending message that you are desirable, you are acting like a
crying selfish three year old!)

Boy doesn’t get girl. (He didn’t do anything whatsoever that sent the message that he
represents someone she should desire or be magnetized to.)
The most powerful messages are the indirect messages, especially when communicating
with women.

When communicating with a female the direct messages really have no value unless you
effectively use them as a means of sending the more important indirect messages.
The guys that have zero problems with generating sexual tension in women are the ones
that are the masters at this.

For instance, if we lived in a wacky world where the women got uncontrollably horny by
guys that were good in geography (yet all the same communication rules applied) you
wouldn’t walk up her and say: “hey I’m good in geography” and expect to be successful
in winning her over.

Instead you would walk up to her with two maps in your hand and began immediately
talking about your new compass-watch!

It’s been my experience that the difference between a guy that gets it and a guy that
doesn’t is often the way he communicates with women.

In other words, most guys already know that women want a man who is confident,
ambitious, caring, etc. They know the qualities. That’s not the problem.
They just don’t know how to communicate in a way that displays those qualities.
Often you will hear a guy say to a woman: “I’m confident “or “I’m nice”.

They just flat out say it directly during their conversation not even realizing that they are
also sending anti-seductive messages along with it. This is what she actually hears:

“What’s your name...I’m weird and creepy”
“Howdy...I don't know how to communicate with you”
“Hey look at me - I’m a desperate guy”
“How’s it going young lady...I’m pathetic”
“Blah blah blah... I can’t keep the meatballs in my sub.” (looking at the sauce-stain on
your shirt)
Everything you say and do will fire off signals.
You can master this concept alone and see tremendous success with your girlfriend or
wife without even reading any further!
The indirect messages reveal everything.

The most intelligent men on this planet are still oblivious to this concept.
Remember when Bill Clinton was first accused of having sexual involvement with
Monica Lewinsky and he said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Most people (the media) had no idea that he actually told on himself. By saying “that
woman” he indirectly sent the message that he thinks it is important to highlight the fact
that she is a woman (of age) - being that she was very young.

Now if you put her being of legal age aside, he without a doubt viewed her as a girl
(being too young).

By stressing “that woman” he revealed via secondary communication that he had
struggled internally with the age issue - he was removing or neutralizing guilt internally
and it leaked out externally (“that woman”).

It’s one thing to be called a cheater, but it’s another thing to be labeled as a man that
fondles around with young (underage) girls.

It didn’t matter that she was technically legal. In his mind, he perceived her as a child. To
highlight that she was a woman, means that something went down. (pun intended)
Listen, I love Bill Clinton. If there was a way he could run for office again, I’d vote for

So, I’m just making a levels of communication point with this example and I don’t want
to be confused as a Bill Clinton basher.

When attempting to help guys understand women, I tell him the truth can be found in the
indirect messages!

Bonus: If you thought the female friend was answering an earlier question that I asked,
then you pick up 100 bonus points.

Let’s take a look at the chart (FIGURE 1) below which illustrates the various levels.

Communication Level: First [ men ]
Interpretation: No deciphering is needed. The person means
exactly what he says.
Example: “Can I borrow some money?”
Meaning: Can I borrow some money?

Communication Level: Second [ women ]
Interpretation: It takes one interpretation-step to decipher
the person’s real message.
Example:“My rent is due, and I can’t find
anyone to borrow money from.”
Meaning: Can I borrow some money?

Communication Level: Third [ women ]
Interpretation: It takes 2 - 5 interpretation-steps to decipher
the person’s real message.
Example: “I can’t believe my rent is due
Meaning: Can I borrow some money?

Communication Level: Fourth
Interpretation: It takes more than 5 interpretation-steps to
decipher the person’s real message.
Example: “How much is your rent?”
Meaning: Can I borrow some money?

Communication Level: Fifth
Interpretation: It takes a psychic to extract the real message
from the delivered message.
Example: “Hi Bob!”
Meaning: Can I borrow some money?

Peace Love & Happiness
CR James,
Author of Super Sex Power

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